Friday, March 21, 2014

Educate Yourself

In October 2012 I received a random text message from a "friend" who I had considered my best friend from 5th grade on. She and I had lost contact several times since 8th grade due to her moving around so much and our lifestyles being completely different. We would somehow regain contact every few years. I hadn't talked to this friend since Riley died in March 2008, but I found her again and she came to our wedding in July 2012. I tried very hard to rebuild our friendship despite not liking a lot of her choices. But then the one day in October when she began texting me about how much she hated me, I've never spoken to her again.

She started out attacking me. She called me names like "ratchet whore" and "nasty nosey cunt." She even told me I was "miserable" because I "couldn't" have children. At that point, yes I had lost two children before but Alex and I had just really started trying to have a child after we got married and we only saw each other on the weekends which never seemed to be when I was ovulating. Nobody ever told me I "couldn't" have children so I didn't know where she was getting that information from. Her words were extremely hurtful, but she could have attacked me all day long and it would not have bothered me because I know who I am and it was none of the things she was calling me.

It was when she started attacking my family that I got really angry. She started saying things like "you're whole family is incest, that's why there's so many of you f***ers with Down Syndrome." At that point she had said enough to piss me off. I finally told her she was stupid and I didn't have time for her ignorance. I blocked her number from my cell phone and blocked her from my Facebook as well. I wanted nothing more to do with someone has horrible and hurtful as her.

It was a month later when Alex and I did get pregnant. Everything was great until our 11 week ultrasound when there was no longer a heartbeat. Finding out our son had Down Syndrome was hard on me because I knew what a joy our son would have been in our lives. I knew how great of a mother I would have been to him. Since my "friend" said all those hurtful things to me, we have lost two babies with Down Syndrome-Logan in January 2013 and Audrey in October 2013. We have not been able to have children yet...but that does not make me miserable. It might make me angry, especially when people like my "friend" has 4 kids that she does not deserve to have.

First of all, if anyone REALLY thinks Down Syndrome is caused from being incest...you are extremely ignorant. I'm pretty confident Alex and I are NOT related. I'm pretty sure my sister and her husband are NOT related! I'm pretty sure my Grandma and Grandpa were NOT related.

Down Syndrome can happen to anyone. It is caused by an extra 21st chromosome in the egg or sperm that creates the child. In most cases, it is completely random and not truly a "genetic" condition that runs in the family. In my families case, it is completely genetic because there are several of us who were blessed with a translocated chromosome where one of our 13's and one of our 21's are fused together. So if our eggs or sperms in the case of the guys has the fused 13/21 chromosome as the number 13 chromosome and still has the individual number 21 chromosome...that egg or sperm has 2 number 21 chromosomes and will end up with Down Syndrome because it will get a 3rd number 21 chromosome from the other parent's egg or sperm. It is not something that can be controlled. It's not something that anyone caused. And if anyone is lucky enough to have a child with Down Syndrome, they have received such as amazing blessing.

I would do anything to have my son and daughter here with us. Even if it meant we had TWO kids with Down Syndrome-I would be so lucky. They are capable of doing so much and should never be looked at as if they are a burden.

I've watched this video twice now and both times I've had tears streaming down my face. It is a beautiful tribute to what these amazing human beings are capable of! Please watch...you will be glad you did!

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju-q4OnBtNU&amp;feature=youtu.be">

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