We Begin Again

As a couple who has struggled through recurrent pregnancy loss, a form of infertility, we have allowed ourselves time between each one of our pregnancies to process our emotions. We have never been the couple that has a miscarriage and can immediately try to get pregnant again the very next menstrual cycle. Eventually, when we believe we are ready to try again, we always do, because the dream to become parents has never faded. Starting over is an emotional rollercoaster because there is fear that another pregnancy will end in miscarriage again, there is disappointment when month after month the pregnancy test is negative, and there is hope and excitement when the pregnancy test finally does show up positive. Recurrent pregnancy loss has been literally a cycle of hope followed by a cycle of pain and it just repeats itself every time.

We are at that point where we begin again. We have picked ourselves back up following a 4th pregnancy that ended too soon. We have hope and excitement right now that this time, like we do at every beginning, will be our miracle, our rainbow baby.

Today we start medication. First things first-birth control pills every day for three weeks. It's ironic actually-I haven't been on any form of birth control since I was 19 years old, and here we are TRYING to get pregnant and I am required to take birth control! What's the purpose? Well, birth control will slow down the activity in my ovaries and will help my ovaries respond better to the stimulation medication I will take later in our cycle. Alex and I also will start taking an antibiotic medication twice a day for the next seven days. The antibiotic is to kill any bacteria we may have in our reproductive tracts. It's a part of everyone's IVF cycle because bacteria can prevent eggs and sperm from being healthy...and of course we want healthy eggs and sperm!

Although I will be sitting on the edge of my seat the next couple of weeks waiting around to start the stimulation meds, I am very grateful we are one step closer to making our babies:)