Thursday, January 30, 2014

I am A Rainbow

I never knew the term "rainbow baby" until after we lost Logan and I joined several support groups online. After losing Logan I have never wanted a Rainbow Baby so bad. Learning about this term, and all that it means, it has made me look at things through a different lens.

I am a Rainbow. 27 years ago at 2:02am I was delivered by God to my parents, who had previously lost two babies before me, one at 10 weeks and one at 20 weeks. I didn't know the significant of being a Rainbow Baby until recently. I realize now that being a Rainbow Baby is such a huge part of who I am. You see, Rainbow Babies are special-they are placed on this Earth to bring sunlight and joy at a time when it feels like the rain won't stop coming down.

I've always known that I was different...different than most kids and even different than most people in my family. I've always been sensitive and I've always worn my emotions on my sleeve, but I've always always been determined to find a reason to smile through any pain I've ever experienced. From a young age I knew I wanted to be in a profession where I help other people and since the age of 16 was dead set on being a social worker despite the advice from my parents that I should major in business because I could make more money. I know I was put on this Earth to be a social worker...it was a part of my destiny, my plan, my purpose. Nothing feels better than making someone who is suicidal and severely depressed laugh, smile, and feel like someone does care enough to listen and to help them. My whole personality is built on the foundation that I was placed on this Earth to bring sunshine and hope to other people. I now believe that God is using my pain, my story, my experiences, my struggles, and my triumphs to inspire other people, to support other people, and to provide hope to other people...people who have been through the same pain and struggles and even people who haven't.

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