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Friday, May 23, 2014

No Price for Peace

As an update to my previous post, I am happy to say my husband and I decided we were going to do the immunological testing with Dr. Braverman. On Friday last week I spoke to the lab in Boston who processes the blood work and found out the blood work itself was $1,000 cheaper than we were originally told by Dr. Braverman's office. So that was a nice surprise. We talked about it over the weekend and my husband finally agreed to the testing, again. On Monday I notified the lab in Boston that we wanted to complete the testing and they sent the testing kit (free of charge) to the lab here in Ohio. It was over-nighted so on Tuesday me and my husband went to the lab at my OGBYN's office and got our blood drawn. Another nice surprise-the lab who drew our blood said they were not going to charge us any venipuncture fees and were drawing our blood at no cost as a "complimentary gesture." We were very happy with how this was all handled by both the Ohio lab and Boston lab. Our blood was over-nighted back to Boston and it is being processed now. 15 vials for me, 3 for my husband.

So now we wait, and I feel at peace with our decision. Someone told me last week that you cannot quantify peace. For me-I need these answers to be able to move forward with our baby quest and to accept that my four babies died and accept that our first IVF cycle failed. I don't think I have accepted any of this. If these tests give us no new answers-great! Then we know for sure I should have no problem carrying a baby with donor eggs from my sister. If these tests give us new answers-we will cross that bridge how we need to and I will be happy that I continued to follow my instincts.

We are going to go to New York to meet with Dr. Braverman to go over the results. However, we cannot plan our trip until my husband starts his new job on June 2nd. Thankfully, he was honest with his boss when he got hired about our infertility treatments so he was awarded 2 weeks of vacation for the remainder of the year even though they typically do not give our vacation until after the first year of employment. We intend on staying in New York 3 nights at the end of June or beginning of July. I will finally be able to cross visiting NYC off my bucket list:)

As you continue on whatever journey you are on, remember to always advocate for yourself and remember that you can't put a price tag on peace. As much as money drives the decisions we make, it is better to know you did everything you could do. Knowing you never gave up, will give you peace in the end.


Shauna S said...

I agree. I had to know for sure what I was dealing with. I finally have peace after ten years of seeking answers. Finally, I can move on completely. Finally I feel free to hope that things can turn out okay, because I know what I'm facing. I haven't felt this peaceful in a long time. The anger has left me greatly. This was worth telling my dr off and crying in front of her and her entire staff. I'm so glad you are going to get answers too. I hope you get your rainbow soon.

Becky Shelton said...

I just had my 4th loss in less then 1 yr and 1/2. They were lost at 18w2d, 8w3d, 9wk with twins and 23w2d recently at 5-14-14. We have had multiple sets down and was told we are "normal" Drs have told us to some it up as bad luck. I refuse to do that and I am constantly seeking answers. we don't have any living children. I will keep on trying to bear a child.

Lindsay Monnier said...

I've been told I've just had bad luck too...but 4 babies in 6 years, no living children...i think its more than just bad luck!! there is no ways all those lost babies were just bad luck for you either becky! that's just crazy!

Becky Shelton said...

We have spent thousands of dollars trying to find an answer. Will keep searching for one, but wont stop trying in the mean time. My husband and I have become more connected through this whole journey. I will never understand why I was chosen to have such a struggle with having a living child. Possibly because it takes a strong soul to over come such triumphs. When we are defeated, somehow we find the courage to stand back up to keep fighting.

Lindsay Monnier said...

thank you for sharing those words! None have been truer! We get knocked down 10 times and get back up 11. We have the fight in us to beat this. Unfortunately we will always have the emotional scars of losing our babies who could never be replaced....but we will continue to fight to make our dreams become reality.