Are we REALLY planning a Baby Shower?!

It has been my dream for years to plan my baby shower.  With every pregnancy that I've ever had, I've always counted the weeks on the calendar to see when I would be between 28-32 weeks so I could figure out the perfect date for my baby shower.  Unfortunately I never made it far enough to even bring up the topic with my family.  And with Riley, we were just starting to talk about the baby shower when we lost her.  Since losing Riley, the thought of my baby shower has had nothing really to do with gifts.  It has always been about being able to celebrate making it to the third trimester and carrying a miracle inside me that we would one day hold in our arms.  I've never been able to celebrate that kind of happiness before.

It is an almost surreal feeling to be planning my baby shower this time around.  It is exciting and at the same time very scary.  I'm 21 weeks pregnant but lost my first daughter between 23-24 weeks.  After finding out about the cord issue during our last ultrasound, I've been holding my breath wondering when our world is going to get turned upset down again.  Yet at the same time there is a little voice that I hear that tells me "I've got this for you my child. Do not worry.  There is hope."  And hearing all of the stories that I did last week from other mommies whose babies had cord insertions has given me a sense of peace and confidence that as long as we monitor Baby M closely, he or she will be healthy and happy and born alive.  Even if it means that we have an early c-section and our baby has to stay in the NICU for a couple weeks, and even if I am not the first person to hold our miracle...I will be happy and will praise God that I still get to hold our child and get to watch our child grow.  Anything is better than burying another baby, so I've come to accept that even if the birth is not the way I have planned in my mind that it should be after all we've been through, I am going to be okay with whatever we have to do to make sure this baby of ours gets to live a long life with us as its parents. 

Of course the perfect theme for my baby shower could only be Rainbows.  I feel like it is only right to pay tribute to our struggles and to celebrate our Rainbow Baby.  After work on Friday I went to my mom's house where we shared ideas that we both have to make this the perfect shower.  And after we ate dinner we made a late night shopping trip to Walmart where we started picking up some of the supplies we need.  We've made a lot of progress so far....almost all the decorations have been purchased, the food list has been made, and my invitations are printed out.  Over the next two weeks we need to finalize my baby registries, cut and send out the invites, and order the cake and balloons. 

As I've said in some of my previous posts, we will be doing a gender reveal at the baby shower! So for all of you wondering when you will get to know if Baby M is a boy or girl, I promise that I will post about the gender on May 17th following my baby shower:) Only 6.5 more weeks!