A Different kind of 2WW

A 2WW is the 2 weeks of waiting between the day of ovulation and the day of expected period. It can also be the 2 weeks between the egg retrieval day and pregnancy test day. In the trying to conceive world, these 2 weeks can be torture-especially when trying to conceive for multiple years. All you want is to be able to finally see those two pink lines on a pregnancy test or to hear from your doctor that you are finally expecting your miracle.

I'm in a different kind of 2WW right now. I started my period yesterday which means I get to start my birth control tomorrow for our Egg Donor IVF cycle. I won't know anything more about our treatment plan until my sister starts her period, which is exactly 2 weeks away-hence the 2WW! While there is not as much riding on this 2WW and no pregnancy test to be taken at the end of it, I am a bit nervous to see how this cycle is going to go once my sister starts her period and is expected to start hormone injections and has blood work and ultrasounds every 2-3 days. I don't really know how to feel right now. I am not overly confident that this will work for us like I have been in the past about other pregnancies and fertility treatments. I am not overly scared that this will fail for us either. I think I just have a more realistic sense that this might work or it might not work.

I know what I have control over and what I do not. I have control over myself. I have control over being compliant with my own medications and advocating for medication changes when I feel it's necessary. I have control over what I eat and drink. I have control over what I do to help make the embryo transfer successful. I don't have control over my sister remembering to take her pre-natal vitamins and injections every day. I don't have control over when the egg retrieval will be. I don't have control over how many eggs my sisters ovaries will stimulate or how many eggs the doctor will get for us or how many eggs will be mature enough for fertilization. I don't have control over my husband remembering to take his vitamins before he goes to bed, mostly because I'm not home when he goes to bed or I would be hounding him with reminders. I don't have control over rather or not my husband drinks on bowling league nights since I'm at work and not with him. I don't have control over how many eggs will get fertilized with my husband's sperm or how good of quality the sperm will be. I do have control over rather or not we do ICSI-which reminds me I need to tell the clinic we WILL do ICSI to be on the safe side. I don't have any control over how well the embryos will grow or how many will make it to day 5 and will either be able to be transferred or frozen. And I don't have any control over rather or not I end up pregnant after all this. All I can do is try the things that I have learned help increase the success of implantation-acupuncture, aspirin, lovenox, prednisone, Intralipids,and eat plenty pineapple core...all of which we did not do last time around. Any other suggestions on what to do would be much appreciated. In this situation where I have little control, the more I feel like I have some control the better.

Speaking of control-there are a lot of opinions on what my sister is doing for us by donating her eggs to us. There are people who have tried and are trying to talk her out of it because they think it is "wrong" or "weird." All I really have to say is that if this is not God's plan for us-it won't work for us. If it does work for us, then obviously God has allowed it to work and it's not "wrong" or "weird," its beautiful. This is not an ideal situation for any of us. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would carry a baby who was not made directly from my own DNA. Never in a million years would my husband have thought that he could be creating a baby with another woman just so I could have the chance to carry that child inside me and he could have a chance at having a biological child. Never in a million years would my sister have thought she would have to do something so intimate as donating her eggs for any of her siblings. All three of us have struggled with the uncomfortable feelings surrounding our decision and have thought about the implications on our personal lives, our marriage/relationships, and our children's lives. We have talked to each other openly about how we feel, and understanding how the other person feels has helped us all to think differently and become more considerate of each other. This decision impacts the three of us and our children more than it impacts anyone else, and the three of us are content with our decision to see where this adventure could take us. So those of you who think, believe, and feel differently...I will just pray for you that God opens up your eyes to see this as a beautiful gift of love and sacrifice and not as a sick and twisted way of having children. As long as the three of us always respect each others roles involved in the process and in raising our children-we won't have any problems with one another. We would all appreciate a drama free cycle and drama free life if this does work out for us. I personally believe the world would be a better place and couples would not feel as lonely with their infertility struggles if more people had a sibling like Alex and I have. If you have the ability to donate eggs or sperm to a sibling going through infertility-why not? It's the single most greatest act of kindness and love that you could do.

If you are supportive of us, stay tuned for more updates as we make our way through this first 2WW!